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“To be, or not to be: that is the question,” says Hamlet in Act III of Hamlet. But what he should have said was, “To be mad, or not to be mad: that is the question.” Because it certainly is the question—the question of Shakespeare’s whole play. Is Hamlet mad or not? That’s what Ophelia would like to know, too.
It’s 3am and I just got an e-mail from my girlfriend Ophelia. It’s a link to some online survey to see whether I’m crazy or not.
I guess I don’t have anything better to do so …
Here goes nothing.
OK, question one. These are all true or false. Hmmm. OK.
I think about death often.
Hello! My father was just murdered.
OK, question two.
I have frequent thoughts about hurting others.
Only King Claudius and my mother, but I guess that makes the answer true!
I believe that others are plotting to kill me.
I don’t believe it, I know it! True!
I believe that I would like to kill myself.
I don’t know that I’d like to kill myself, but do I want to?
Here it is. The mystery of my sanity will at last be solved.
Shoot. I think this site just crashed my computer.