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“To be, or not to be: that is the question,” says Hamlet in Act III of Hamlet. But what he should have said was, “To be mad, or not to be mad: that is the question.” Because it certainly is the question—the question of Shakespeare’s whole play. Is Hamlet mad or not? That’s what Ophelia would like to know, too.

Video Transcription:

It’s 3am and I just got an e-mail from my girlfriend Ophelia. It’s a link to some online survey to see whether I’m crazy or not.

Here, look.

I guess I don’t have anything better to do so …

Here goes nothing.

OK, question one. These are all true or false. Hmmm. OK.

I think about death often.

Hello! My father was just murdered.

OK, question two.

I have frequent thoughts about hurting others.

Only King Claudius and my mother, but I guess that makes the answer true!

Question three.

I believe that others are plotting to kill me.

I don’t believe it, I know it! True!

Question four.

I believe that I would like to kill myself.

I don’t know that I’d like to kill myself, but do I want to?

Here it is. The mystery of my sanity will at last be solved.

Shoot. I think this site just crashed my computer.